
My friend sent me an email the other day about the suicide of eleven-year-old Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover. She sent the email on the
13th National Day of Silence.
In the article, there is a description of what the school did to intervene in the bullying that
Carl Walker-Hoover was experiencing daily:“...Days prior to Carl Walker-Hoover’s suicide, he confronted a female bully who verbally accosted him. The event served as an apparent catalyst to Walker’s suicide. The school’s response was to have the two students sit beside one another during lunch for the next week to encourage conversation.”
This is why my friend put in the word, in quotes, “dialogue” as the email subject heading.
A lot is said about “dialogue,” but dialogue cannot take place between people who occupy positions of power over other people.
Dialogue can only take place among equals.
Paulo Freire writes it in a way that I feel it:
"Dialogue cannot occur between those who want to name the world and those who do not wish this naming -- between those who deny others the right to speak their word and those whose right to speak has been denied them. Those who have been denied their primordial right to speak their word must first reclaim this right and prevent the continuation of this dehumanizing aggression... Because dialogue is an encounter among women and men who name the world, it must not be a situation where some name on behalf of others. It is an act of creation; it must not serve as a crafty instrument for the domination of one person by another." (pp. 88 - 89, Pedagogy of the Oppressed)
What gets in the way of dialogue: White privilege, classism, racism, sexism, heterosexism, fear, power, group think…
Carl was bullied because he was perceived as “gay” by a group of other students.
“Walker said her son had been the victim of bullying since the beginning of the school year, and that she had been calling the school since September, complaining that her son was mercilessly teased. He played football, baseball, and was a boy scout, but a group of classmates called him gay and teased him about the way he dressed. They ridiculed him for going to church with his mother and for volunteering locally.”
Carl's mother named the world her son lived in. She gave these words to the school, but the world she named had no meaning for school officials. The school officials made Carl sit next to a bully for a week to “encourage conversation.” In other words, the school encouraged further dehumanizing aggression against Carl.
What do you think was possible for Carl to say sitting next to the person who hurt him, who assaulted him, wished him harm? How could Carl possibly have benefited by being forced to sit next to the person who pushed him to hang himself?
Don’t make the innocent sit down with the tormentor to "dialogue." The one who will get hurt again and again and again will be the one who "names the world to change it" (Freire, p. 88).
for the full article emailed and quoted here,
click.